Sunday is Valentine’s Day. If you haven’t gotten anything yet, you’d better hurry up and read this article and get out there!
Needless to say, once again, we’ve scoured the digital world on the behalf of Indian Country to find you 10 Funny Native-Style Valentine’s Day Gifts. Some of these are a bit over the top, but some can hopefully offer you a bit of inspiration.
To the Valentines out there attempting to inject a bit of romance into their lives here’s ten gifts you can use to impress your Native loved-one.
A Beaded Selfie Stick
There is no way to say “Damn you are looking good,” than with a beaded selfie stick. You can add it as part of the beaded cell phone case accessory package you probably already bought last Valentine’s Day.
A Heart-Shaped Dream Catcher
No description really necessary – this just oozes a Native theme for Valentine’s Day.
His and Her Decorated Whale Teeth
This designed pair of sperm whale teeth that are also a set of salt and pepper shakers are a perfect addition to any romantic Rez-dining experience. The whale would have approved of such a romance.
Native Style Personalized M&Ms
Simply stated, you can go to the personalized M&Ms site to make your own Native style M&Ms. Way cool.
REZ-ervations at a cool Native Eats place
Ok, we had to make a play on ‘reservations’ – it’s pretty much a necessary thing to do in Indian Country humor. That said, for example… get an Indian Taco like this at Native owned eatery Tocabe if you are in the Denver area.
A Bad-Ass Native Designed Laptop or iPad Sleeve
Yeah – this is outside the humor theme – but hey, this is just a cool anytime gift period. North West Native Gifts on Etsy has a bunch.
More Craft Supplies for your Crafty Gal – or Guy
In my experience, there is just no such thing as too many craft supplies. So grab a bunch for your Native Gal – or crafty guy for a real show winner. Not sure? NOBODY hates a gift card.
A Brand New Cute Wolf Puppy
The Rez never seems to have enough half-wolfs running around, so don’t waste any time in adding another set of wolf-genes into your Rez dog population. If your Valentine approves, get them a couple of pups.
A Genuine Hand-crafted Native American Made Valentine
If you are a Native and you make a Valentine’s Day card, congrats! You have just created a “Genuine Hand-crafted Native American Made Valentine!” If you and your gal both make them, there might be a bit of difference in how they look (that’s the way it is for me anyhow.)
A Handmade Heart Snow Message
It’s always damn freezing in February, so take advantage of your surroundings to create a hand made Valentines message for your gal! Guys, DO NOT get lazy and try to spell out a message in the snow with pee.
I made this message for my loved one and special Valentine’s Day gal. (Happy Valentine’s Day to my lovely wife Delores.)
Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!
Follow ICTMN’s A&E, Sports and Pow Wows Editor and contributor Vincent Schilling (Akwesasne Mohawk) on Twitter – @VinceSchilling