The new TV season is right around the corner. Hollywood is getting ready to launch another slate of reality programming. The list includes the usual collection of swamp people, mountain men and other kooky caucasians. I wish we could get the networks to take some inspiration from Indian country. They could put a whole native spin on reality show programming.
Let’s start with powwow related programming. Instead of Doomsday Preppers, Nat Geo could feature singers, dancers and drummers in Powwow Preppers. So You Think You Can Dance? has worn out its welcome on TV. I says it’s time for So You Think You Can Grass Dance?. And instead of Princesses: Long Island, America will fall in love with Princesses: The Powwow Circuit.
Life on the reservation will never be looked at the same by non-natives when we bring these replacement shows to reality television. Dog the Bounty Hunter out; Rez Dog The Frybread Hunter in. Viewers are getting tired of seeing people trapped in their own house with piles of old magazines, furniture and dirty dishes. Let’s do a Navajo version of Hoarders — call it Herders. While we’re on the Navajo Rez, we will follow some traditionalists who restore old dwellings. Call it Hogan’s Heroes. And since we have Indians helping other Indians fix things up, let’s have a Native version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition; it'll be called Extreme Makeover: HUD Home Edition.
For our people in Oklahoma, replace Pawn Stars with Pawnee Stars. Instead of Pimp My Ride, it’s Pimp My War Pony. Top Chef will become Top Chief and Queer Eye For the Straight Guy will become Walleye for the Rez Guy. And finally, we will head to the Northwest for the new smash hits, Huckleberry Hounds and Gooey Duck Dynasty.
Marc Yaffee, "adopted at birth and confused ever since," is a touring comedian who has appeared on Showtime and performed for troops stationed in the Middle East. Yaffee, Navajo, is a founding member of the Pow Wow Comedy Jam. Visit laughwithmarc.com to find out where he'll be performing or purchase his latest CD, Chucklelicious.