The days are getting longer; I’m thinking about hearing birds singing, seeing unicorns eating rainbows, and friends are talking about going to look for Big Foot. Being in love this time of year can be very exciting—looking forward to seeing that special person, and having those enjoyable thoughts of being together. Married people live longer than singles—for some it just seems that way. While falling in love is wonderful, why does that incredible feeling run away for some, leaving many in frustration? The Trickster Thoughts play a large part in slowly tearing us away from those warm, fuzzy feelings.
Over time, I have realized that our thoughts have a lot of power. It is important to learn how to control the power our minds have and to use it to our benefit and others’. Because Trickster Thoughts are so sly, they make us think something is true when it is not. Here is how it works; I will ask my wife Beth to help once again.
“When Beau does something I don’t like, I could think thoughts like: ‘That Beau always makes me mad, he does these things to get to me. The ‘All or Nothing’ Trickster is telling me something that is not true; Beau seldom makes me mad. The others are the Reads Minds Trickster and the Jumps to Conclusion Trickster telling me that he did something on purpose just to make me mad. He is a guy, and he didn’t know that you can’t use sewing scissors to cut paper. By allowing the Tricksters do their angry thoughts, it makes me feel bad and starts driving a wedge between me and Beau. And when I am mad, I can remember all the other things he has done wrong in the past, making things worse. However, I keep my relationship healthy with Beau by using a technique he will tell about next.”
Uh, thanks, Beth. Once somebody frustrates a person, with the help of Tricksters, it is a fast slide to the bottom, and it is hard to change the negative thoughts we have about them. So here is a start on how to fix part of it. When I think a bad thought about somebody, I counter act the mental poison, thinking two to three Healing Thoughts. For instance, if I have a bad thought about Beth, I will then think something like this: “I don’t like that she did that, but I sure do like the way she holds my hand; I like watching her watch basketball—she gets so excited; and she is great company when we go places.” Thinking like this does not make me forget the problem, but it does keep me from stewing on it. So on one hand, I do it for myself. It takes the anger away, making me feel better. And on the other hand, it makes a better relationship between both of us and helps her to feel better. Grudges and resentment don’t belong in a good relationship. This is also helpful in other relationships like with coworkers.
I know how bad Tricksters are in a relationship, so Beth and I keep a watch out for them. Then when I start thinking that she might have done something to aggravate me, I recognize the Tricksters that are at work before they start taking over and doing damage to our loving relationship.
Tricksters not only pry loving relationships apart, but also families and working relationships as well. If something starts to bother you, have the courage to talk it out. It will save you some sleepless nights.
Now get back in there and start making better relationships; you deserve it.