Paula Deen dramatically wept Wednesday morning in an exclusive interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show, where she explained she has only used the “N word” once “in all of my 66 years on earth.” That was after she was robbed at gunpoint by a man whom she had “gone out on a limb” for and “gotten him a loan,” Deen told the Today Show host while gripping his leg.
When Lauer told Deen that she must realize that black people are offended by the racial slur n****r, she explained that she had heard cooks use the term in the kitchen, so she was unsure.
“I don't know, Matt, I have asked myself that so many times. It's very distressing for me to go into my kitchens and hear what people are calling each other….I think that for this problem to be worked on that these young people are going to have to take control and start showing respect for each other and not throw that word at each other. It makes my skin crawl.”
The visibly distressed Deen also repeatedly begged viewers to throw a stone at her head if they’ve never said something they later regretted.
“If there's anyone out there that has never said something that they wished they could take back,” Deen said. “If you're out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. Please. I want to meet you.”
Deen also told Lauer, “I'm heartbroken. I've had to hold friends in my arms while they've sobbed because they know what has been said about me. It's not true.”
Deen concluded the interview by saying, “I is what I is and I'm not changing.”
Watch Deen’s emotional interview here: